THE RELAXATION RESPONSE
Relaxation News by Laurie H. Miller, C.C.H.
The Need for Support
Issue 26 – August 2006
My client was aware of unresolved fear that held her back from attaining her goals. Whenever she attempted to approach it, her immediate reaction was to run away or to avoid it. The feeling was so strong that she almost cancelled the appointment with me.
After talking, it was apparent to me that she wasn’t given the support she needed to face the fear.
To feel safe she needed me to listen, be gentle and respectful. She needed to support herself by looking at the fear at a pace that she controlled.
We successfully approached her fear, processed it, and released it! What a freeing experience!
The Need for Support
Are you like this too?
All my life I have been very sensitive. I found that I could not watch movies with “bad” endings or violence without having disturbed sleep for a few days. I eventually got to the point of avoiding the nightly news because I couldn’t stop reacting to the horrors in the world. (I can listen to it on the radio with less reaction). I realized that as a kid, whenever I watched something sad, I would sit still, hold my emotions in, and the few tears that escaped were hidden behind glasses and quickly wiped away.
If this is you read on…
A friend (and therapist) brought it to my attention that I held in my feelings because I did not have support to deal with the fear. I learned to avoid emotionally charged issues that affected me in a negative way.
She suggested I see what would happen if I had support after watching something that created trauma for me.
With a small group, I watched a documentary, “Lost Children”, about child labor around the world. I left my glasses off (to change my experience). I began to watch with some nervousness and trepidation.
This is what happened.
I still felt myself holding my emotions in, although not as much. I did some deep, slow breathing to stay more relaxed. After the program, which I was able to sit through, we talked about it. Everyone shared their reactions and I had the support to feel my feelings and express them. I felt more relaxed and relieved.
I find that I am not as hesitant to look at traumatic media. My awareness of what I need, support and safety to express myself was key to my change.
What can you do?
It is easier to face trauma, fears, phobias, and any issue that is emotionally charged with assistance, comfort, and encouragement. Self support and awareness lessens the stress. Once you allow yourself to look at the fear and explore it (feel it), you will notice that it fades or it will completely release. You then have the clear ability to move forward with a wonderful sense of clarity and freedom!
HOW TO MOVE THROUGH A NEGATIVE EMOTION
Negative experiences or thoughts create negative emotions. The tendency of most people is to ignore it or numb it (food, drugs, work, TV, computer, etc.) Storing negative emotions leads to stress, anxiety, unhappiness, depression, and even illness.
LET’S GET RID OF IT!
1. Of course you have to notice that you have a negative emotion. If you suffer from any of the list above you can be sure you are holding emotions in.
2. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position and decide what negative emotion you are experiencing.
3. Imagine it as a symbol or image in front of you.
4. Now imagine walking towards the image. Breathe deeply several times. Keep getting closer. Breathe.
5. Stay with the image. Explore it, talk to it, see it, understand it, as if it were a friend with a problem.
6. You will notice a “shift” after awhile. The image will change or disappear. Be patient with the process and you will feel better!
YOUR REFERRALS ARE APPRECIATED!
Dawn Baloun, Nancy Murrieta, Scott Peebles, Greg Wright, Rich Nemeth, Dr. Chris Barney, Larisa Gruer, Manuash Moradi, Drs. Dan and Rochelle Belove, Anne Lundquist, Patricia Bracho, Judy Metez, UCI, Nicole Gyrik, Angela Dohney, Gloria Zigner, Corby White, Lisa Eannis, Toni Vrsolovich, Jaqueline Shea, Lola Ramos, Sharon Devey, Barbara Greschner, Deena Sellens, Ayeshah Morrin, Pam Schmidt, and Evan Wiese.
Thanks for those who have sent me more than one new client.