Relaxation News by Laurie H. Miller, C.C.H.

The Illusion Of Perfection

Issue 31 – November 2007

Laurie’s Notes

Dear Clients,

How we view ourselves and our perception of how others view us can be in conflict.  In reaction to this conflict we develop a “false self”… the illusion of who we think we need to be in order to be loved and accepted.

This illusion of ourselves can lead to unhappiness and the inability to create the outcomes in our life that we really want.

Your mission… should you choose to accept it…is to wade through illusion into discovery of your more authentic self.  From there you create self esteem, confidence and well being.

The holidays and year end are drawing near. Let go of any illusion of what your holidays should be so that you make it what you really want!  Wishing you a safe, loving holiday.


I am not what I appear,
I am an illusion.
What you see is not really me.
There is so much more,
More that you do not see.

I do not deserve acceptance,
Or I would have it.
Why will not any of you love me.
I bend, I mold, I change for you.
Ah, but only for awhile.

Then I know I must be me.
And this breaks your illusion.
I am full of inner yearning,
To be just who I am.
No make up, no perfection.

My illusion of what others want,
Do I want it too?
I am torn with confusion.
I will be anything to be loved.
I will become perfection,
until that illusion clears.

I walk in imperfection,
Speak my imperfect thoughts,
Love with imperfection.
I cannot be your image,
As I have tried.

I accept my own perfection,
As I find acceptance in myself.
I can no longer be an illusion,
To myself or to you.
It is not possible anymore.

Anonymous Author 1987

Each of us can access a place inside our mind that is wise, intuitive, and confident.  It takes a level of trust in our own power that ultimately we know what is best for ourselves.  When we try to please others to get love, approval, or acknowledgement, that inner wisdom becomes foggy and self trust breaks down.


This exercise creates clarity into your authentic self, clears illusions, and promotes trust.

1.  Think about a decision,  issue, or problem facing you.

2.  Close your eyes. Breathe deeply several time and let your body relax. Empty your mind from excess thoughts.

3.  Create an image of a person who is wise, knowing and understanding. Your idea of a wise man or woman.

4.  Turn to that wise person and ask for words of wisdom or advise, something you need to know that will benefit you about your issue.

5.  Breathe. Listen carefully. Let the wise person guide you, show you, talk with you. The wise voice is often soft and gentle.

6.  Gently open your eyes and write down your experience and what you now understand.


The authentic self is the you that can be found at your absolute core. It is the part of you not defined by your job, function or role. It is the composite of all your skills, talents and wisdom. It is all of the things that are uniquely yours and need expression, rather than what you believe you are supposed to be and do.


Gary Johnson, Gail Paoli, Sandey Laurence, Christina Huxford, Sarah Laina, Cheddi Rathan, Toni Vrislovich, Kristin Gyban, Christine Miller, Michelle Anderson, Janet Whitney MFCC, Mike Fergon, Betsy Hewitt,  Elana Cohen, Dr. Howard Richmond, Cindi Sanchez,  Shannon Sanchez, Denise Davis MFC, Pamela Schmidt, Starr Allumbaugh, Doris Perez, Renee Hulse, & Leslie McAllister.

Many thanks to those who have sent more than one client to me!