Newsletter

THE RELAXATION RESPONSE

Relaxation News by Laurie H. Miller, C.C.H.

Family Issues

Issue 32 – February 2008

Laurie’s Notes

Dear Clients,

relaxationAs the new year begins we often reflect on the past holiday celebrations.  For some, the family time was awesome, a time to catch up and reconnect.  For others,  the holidays are a source of family conflict, pain, stress, and disappointment.

We have expectations of what a family should be depending on our own past experiences. Other factors that shape our vision are religious and moral beliefs, economics, culture, living conditions, and the media.

Ideally, families are the source of emotional support, comfort, warmth, nurturing, protection and security.

A great goal for the new year: Permit changes in your family structure to encourage each person’s individuality to flourish.

***
FAMILY ISSUES

Families have their strengths and weaknesses. With education,  support, and forgiveness, they can heal and become stronger.

Families are a work in progress.

UNSUCCESSFUL COPING: SIGNS OF FAMILY TROUBLE

POOR COMMUNICATION
Lack of listening to what others are trying to express through their words and actions. Or even worse, family members avoiding talking with each other altogether.

POOR PROBLEM SOLVING
Lack of priorities harm the identification of the problems in the first place. Problem solving becomes a blame game rather than agreement upon an option and action.

POOR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
When there is judgment and criticism, the family structure breaks apart. Personal development and performance are affected.

POOR TOLERANCE
When families withhold acknowledgement, appreciation and love because of personal differences, it creates poor social skills, self-image, and low self-esteem.

POOR DIVISION OF RESPONSIBILITY
Family life can become chaotic and many things do not get accomplished when responsibilities are not clear. Selfishness abounds when family members do not help and support each other.

POOR DEPENDENCY
Over bearing control or doing too much for one another backfires into lack of capability and lack of ability to manage life’s stresses and challenges.

THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY

Families are special and are irreplaceable. They provide a sense of belonging and create important traditions as well as providing a critical sense of being valued.  They are the environment best suited to teach values, respect, social responsibility, and courage.

Most of all within every healthy family there is a strong sense of reciprocity, the giving and taking of love and empathy by every family member.  It is where we learn to successfully navigate our world and are able to develop and follow our passions.

To thrive in a family is to thrive in our world. To be loved in a family is to be loved in the world.

A FAMILY IS:

Any group of people living together in a household.  The variations of family structures and definition are almost endless, but they have certain qualities in common.

Family members share their lives emotionally and together
fulfill the multiple responsibilities of family life.

***

YOUR REFERRALS ARE APPRECIATED!

Dr. Shirley Furman, Melissa Sanchez, Elana Cohen, Dr. Howard Richmond, Betsy Hewitt, Paula Elliott, Patty Hunsicker, Shannon Sanchez, Robert Layton, Rene’ Reza, Marge Cunningham, Jackie Nesselroad, Sheri Dadfar, Deanne Crane, Pamela Schmidt, Molly Tucker, Ryan Roberts, Kara Gustafson, Bonny Nickle, Mariana Paermentier, Dr. Ann Lundquist, Rebecca Shaw, Laura Felciano, Fahimah, Ellie Shobe,  and Denise McPhee.

***

In memory of a special family member, Vincent; aka Vinnie the C (cat), who lived a loving, fulfilled 18 years with our family. Vincent was a terrific cat!