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THE
RELAXATION RESPONSE
Relaxation News
by Laurie H. Miller, C.C.H.
Laurie's
Notes
Dear Clients,
This newsletter
addresses experiences of hurt that we are capable of resolving.
We all
deal with hurt in different ways. Some people shut down, numb,
or withdraw. Others cover it with anger, anxiety, fear, or
emotional outbursts.
The best
way to deal with hurt is to “process” the feelings,
the situation, and the person that is involved.
This allows
the hurt to be internally resolved which relieves the symptoms
even if the issue cannot be fixed.
My definition
of process is: to move through; to face; to pay attention
to.
The process
of resolving hurt may be a bit different for each individual
as we all react to hurt in our own unique way.
Wishing you freedom from hurt....
***
HURT
HURTS
You
know the feeling:
the deep ache in your heart that plummets down to your stomach
and just sits there like a lump of clay.
You
know the thoughts: running the scenario over and
over and over, as if thinking about it will change it or make
it go away.
You
know the emotions: anger, frustration, rage, anxiety,
fear, and the desire for revenge.
Five
issues that
create hurt:
- Fairness.
Most people want equality which triggers the need for a
situation or person to be fair.
- Not
being heard.
Wanting the other person to know what you want, need, or
feel.
- Misunderstanding.
People thinking differently and misinterpreting views on
an issue.
- Not
feeling taken care of or special. Most
individuals have expectations of what they need to be fulfilled.
- Expectations.
Valuing something that may be different than someone else
values.
Miscommunication
is always a part of and at the heart of hurt.
The
emotions of hurt block clear communication with yourself and
with others.
HEALING
HURT
Healing
hurt is a big undertaking depending on the depth and scope
of the hurt. I recommend starting small with this exercise.
Stop if it becomes overwhelming. These steps take the edge
off of hurt and can be repeated with the same situation as
much as needed.
1)
Breathe deeply
- Pay
attention to the hurt!
- Stop
the withdrawal, hiding, and cover-up.
- Sit
quietly and notice what you are feeling, notice the thoughts
you have, and the emotions you feel.
2)
Breathe deeply….again….
- Indulge
yourself in the pain, fear, hopelessness, anger.
- Indulge
yourself in the negative and all or nothing at all thinking.
- Be
mad, be hurt.
3)
Breathe Deeply.
- Now
make the hurt bigger.
- Worse
than it is, more hurtful than it is.
- Intensify
the feelings, the heartache, the thoughts.
4)
Breathe Deeply.
- Keep
going.
- Bigger.
- Until
the hurt explodes, goes away, fades, looses power, or your
mind wanders.
- You
will be more calm and in control, on your way to freedom
from hurt!
SOME
THOUGHTS ON HURT
Healing
hurt requires conscious awareness of your own responsibility
in the situation and the ability to stop blaming. It requires
living in the now instead of in the past.
It
means not needing to be right and hopefully seeing your own
wrong. It means being brave enough to feel your own feelings
and hear your own thoughts instead of numbing with food or
substances or other escape behaviors.
It’s
easier to heal a new hurt and more effort to heal an old one.
Sometimes hurts can’t be healed and leave scars. The
best option is to leave them in the past and not let them
have power over your present day life. It is better to be
in control of hurt instead of hurt controlling you.
Hurt
is a feeling and feelings constantly change.
***
THANK
YOU FOR YOUR REFERRALS!
THANK
YOU FOR YOUR REFERRALS!
Michelle
Anderson, Susan Addington, Dr. Carol La Blanc, Toni Vrsolovich,
Adraina Acosta, Jill Seesholtz, Nancy Murrietta, Mike Fergin,
Piper Sample, Edie Marowitz, Molly Moran, Dr. Cindy Olson,
Carolyn Alley, Randy Williams, JoVonna Kingkade, Karen Frazier,
Cindy Bratty, Rebecca Shaw, Dr. Chris Barney, Greg Mimm, Mary
Singleton, Janet Whitney, Gary Larson, Dr. Dana Yan, Kimberly
Watson, Amy Isham, Jeri Robinson, and Sandy Salisbury
Many
thanks to those who have sent more than one client to me!
***
Copyright©2005-07
Laurie Miller, C.C.H.
No
parts of this website may be duplicated without written
permission.
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